Advanced costume baby

Since real estate is worth more than gold...? - congratulations christening wording

... We need to open the funeral with weddings, baptisms, retirement celebrations combine, and the doors?

For example:

"Danforth Giddle Wednesday died 24 days after a long battle with the local barons of the drug in Tijuana. Giddle He is survived by his loving daughter Marta, 23, Spencer Johnson married the same day at the Holiday Inn Resort Cervesa in the room after the ceremony. Martha and Spencer, while still losing Danforth, Jr. Spence mourning Welcome few in the world and his baptism, chaired by the father of welding, will be held in the pool after the Juarez / Giddle marriage. drinks are available (because, let's face it, you need "at this point em). After the baptism of the Master of Juarez, please yISO family in Mexicali room to congratulate Aunt Tito Rodriguez, of his post as vice-president of the Johnson family Bidness left after 6 successful years of plenty. Tito preparing his departure for Venezuela, and his name in Bonita. End of the day festivities are all invited to visit 16 Danforth Giddle bedroom, 9 bathroom villa home in Tijuana, Rosarito, Baja California area. The house, situated in a dead end in the vicinity of schools with private armed guards, has an incredible view to the west, where you can see the sunset over the thistles! Existing employees will be authentic Swiss cuisine to cook, and make sure the rooms are cleaned every day! Two bathrooms with hydro-jet, high-definition TVs and Kiel! Act quickly - at a price of juice11.9 million tons, is the paradise of the South is moving really fast!

Rating: chips and pop, or chocolate and coffee?